The Kiss of a Lotus
by MugenXClownCrown
Summary: Looking into her eyes, he stares at her, not sure of her. She smiles at him, her eyes warm. "Don't hold back." She whispered to him. His eyes widened and he pressed his lips against hers, his hands drop to her hands. His fingers skimming over the lotus mark along her body. Yullen. Female Allen.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

* * *

_Looking at the others, he holds out the torn jacket. His eyes, soft and filled with such a painful emotion. His hands shaky. He gently and slowly places the coat on the desk. It was folded neatly. You would have never known that it was torn in half and blood stained. Lavi looked at Lenalee, who was holding back tears. Her hand over her mouth, trying to subside the sobs that would pass her mouth._

_Komui stared at the jacket, his face void of any emotion, which was uncharacteristic of the man. His eyes were hidden by the glare of the light that came from above. You could not see the pain and unshed tears in his eyes._

_Turning his head looking at the samurai at the corner. He was stiff, his eyes hidden by his bands, head low, staring at the ground. His arms folded across his chest. Lavi watched as the elder male turn and walk out. Slamming the door behind him._

_"I am sorry, I truly am." The red head whispered, he took a bow and walked from the room. He was unable to look at the siblings broken hearted expressions. It was killing him, he was drowning in his own guilt. He was too busy with counting his kill's to check on Allen. When he looked back to brag to the white haired male, he saw blood, the jacket, and the missing Moyashi. He lost Allen and for good._

_And it was all his fault._

* * *

_**From my rotting body, flowers shall grow and I am in them and that is eternity.**_

_~Edvard Munch_

* * *

_Days have passed since the news of Allen Walker's' death. The whole building was in a state of harsh depression, mostly to those who knew Allen Walker, which was pretty much everyone. But those who were affected the death the most were Lavi, Lenalee, Komui, Jerry, Toma, Mirranda, Krory, and surprisingly Kanda._

_Lenalee forced smiles on her face so that her brother wouldn't worry, but alone she would cry silently. She was heartbroken, over the fact she lost her best friend. She did not blame Lavi. No one truly did, it was a freak accident, but that does nothing to heal the raw pain._

_Komui was stressed out a lot more than usually, he could barely smile when he saw Lenalee's face, it was most heart breaking to the man. He would pull her into a hug holding her close. Not saying a word. What could he say? 'It okay?'. No, he couldn't for it is not okay. It wouldn't be okay for a long time._

_With Lavi, he spent most of his time with his Grandfather 'Bookman. He didn't speak much, he was always lost in his own little world. He was like a ghost of his former self. He would also force a smile every now and then, but even then he was too emotionally tired to even force that smile. He would do whatever his Grandfather said without protest. Nothing. It worried his old-man greatly._

_With Kanda, it had hit the hardest. He was withdrawn, colder than ice. Whenever he was back from a mission, he would ask for another one, that day. If there was not a mission to be taken care of. He would train and train until he nearly passed out. Other than that, there was no changes from Kanda that could be seen. But Lenalee, Lavi, and Komui could see that he was suffering as much as them and maybe even more?_

_They could never really tell truthfully if he was even suffering greatly. He would not say a word to them, if he did it was about the mission or an insult. They noted some small changes, like his tone, it was colder, his eyes deep and blank, and the way he held himself. It was tense, forced, and fast. Like he was running away from whatever was behind him._

_It all dawned on them, they lost what little light they had, they lost Allen, the happy, go lucky one. The one that could make them smile, laugh, cry, and even feel loved. Allen made them feel human inside. He saw them as people, normal, not destroyers, not weapons, not copies, and not an exorcist. He saw LenaLee, Lavi, and Kanda. Normal teenagers. Even though they were far from normal in this world. But to him, and what he said to them._

_'No one is normal, this world is not normal, no matter how hard we try to hid it. We are so different that is is normal, we have red blood, two eyes, a heart, and a mind. We are like any other. We just took a larger step to protect those who could not and cannot protect themselves. We are Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, and Allen. We are teenagers living our lives. We are normal.'_

_Those where that last words that they said to them before the mission with Lavi. They cherished those last words. But they could not abid by those words, for they were missing the main part. Happiness, their Allen._


	2. Chapter 2

5": Here is Chapter one, I hope you all enjoy it, I work really hard, do not be afraid to tell me what I got wrong~

I do not own -man.

* * *

**Chapter one**

**I am alive**

* * *

_From my soul I call. Forever my soul my heart belongs to you. -Me_

* * *

~Allen

Opening my eyes I noticed I was in a dark abyss. Looking around I noticed I was floating in darkness. I whimpered, it was scary. Looking around I twisted myself into a standing position. I looked at my hands and noticed that they were both normal and human, not like before. I then looked down my body, I was naked and glowing brightly, that a soul. I saw down on my stomach, it was a marking, it looked odd. Never had it been there before. Placing my hands on my stomach I rub the mark. It scent my body into a pleasurable flare.

Pulling my hands away in shock, I blinked unsure of what was happening, I was oddly calm and relaxed. Placing my feet in front of me. I walked forward. I felt like I was walking on air. So odd and normal?

Looking around, I tried to find a way out, but there was nothing, nothing but pitch blackness. Some other colors, like reds, greens, purples, and grays. Maybe some blues, but it was dark and you couldn't see what was front, back, down or up. I could not tell anything apart. I only knew that I was safe and nothing could hurt me.

Walking headed forward, it was the only place I knew, walking forward I headed there. At least it was a start.

"Hello anyone there?" I called out. This was not what I was expecting, a door opened up. It was white and double doored. Glowing pale vines wrapped around the frame like a grape.  
Looking at it fully, I noticed that it was made from a white cherry tree. The petals were a glowing pinkish white. Moving forward I place my hands on the flat wood and push it open, it revealed that of creatures and white light, I quickly covered my head.

I felt the light nuzzle along my body, opened my eyes and look around to see...no it cannot be. These creatures are Kanda's illusions. Looking at them fully, I held out my hands, watched as one of them nuzzled and nipped at my fingers like that of a cat would.

I only had one question for what was going on. 'Where am I?'

Looking at the insects of hell. Smiling faintly, I look around. "Do you know where I am?" I asked them, hoping that they at least give me some kind of clue.

The white things pushed me forwards, lightly pulling at my now long hair. I smiled and let out a small giggle. I walked forward, knowing that they would help me in some weird way.

* * *

~Kanda

I looked at Mugen, it was pulsing with power. I watched as it twitch and pulsed. It was mind boggling. Nothing like this has ever happened before. I looked at Lavi, Lenalee, and Kumoi. They were all watching the sword with awe. "What is it doing?" I asked the sister complex freak.  
The man sipped his coffee, he looked to be complitating. "I have no idea." He said with a shrug. He looked rather uncaring. "What do you mean you don't know!" I snapped. He was suppose to know these things.

I may know Mugen like the back of my hand. But this was new, so new. Staring at the innocence, I felt I should grab it. Reaching out I gripped the handle. Mugen stilled in my hand. But I could feel the pulsing within my soul and mind.

Placing my fingers on the blade. "Innocence Active!" I commanded. A bright light filled the room, blinding us all.

Once the light dimmed, I that Mugan was no longer in my hand, what I did notice was that there was a light pointing to the door, she it was a line, it was pure silver. "You guys see that?" I heard Lavi ask. I didn't bother to reply, I head after it, following it. I heard the others follow me.

'Just what the hell was going on, first the Moyashi goes missing, then this?' Running towards the docks I jumped into the boat, the others following. Toma was with us this time, I don't know how or why. But at this moment. I could feel that something was happening. It was shaking my soul. The follower pushed the boat from the stone and we set off.

As we got further and further from the Order, I felt something in the back of my mind, something was trying to cry out to me. Looking up at the silver light, I could barely see the insect form from my sword and innocence.

They are the ones leading us, but to where, I was not right to question it. I didn't need to, I could feel the what they were trying to show me or us.

It was warm, scared, calm, and most of all hurt. I felt my chest and stomach twist heavily. I hated it, the feeling was horrible. I felt sick, so cold, I could feel pain, in my chest, arms and legs. Mostly my back. But the odd thing was that it was not my pain, it was someone else.

Making it to shore, I splash in the water and ran forward, not caring that my feet were wet and that I was leaving them behind. Stopping I looked ahead. We were going straight into the forest, it was on the other side of town. Frowning, I walked forward, I had to be careful.

* * *

~Allen

As the insects pushed my forward. I stopped and looked down, I froze at what I saw. It was a pond. It me, looking through it I saw that it was me. I was close to the bank of the river. I was stuck in between a log and a rock. Floating leaning against the rock.

Looking at them, I smiled sadly, I nodded to them in thanks and walked into the pond. It was painfully cold. I dived in head first.  
Soon I fell into darkness, water filled me with dread.

* * *

~Kanda

Seeing a light nearby, we could see the insects with ease. They were solid, rushing to the sound of a river. I looked around, I saw that nothing at first glance, then I looked at the split log.

Running to the river. I was pulled with the current, it was not strong. Not in the least. It barely went to my knees. Seeing the white mass. I reach out, my eyes widened at the state of the Moyashi.

"Dear God..." I whispered.


	3. Chapter 3

5": Well here is another Chapter I was told to update faster, she/he was serious and it gave me motivation so thank you Yullen22490!  
So this chapter is for her/he!

I don't own -man. If I did I would have gotten Allen and Kanda together a long time ago.

* * *

**Chapter Two**

**What is this?**

* * *

_Passing by, without a word, you left my sight but not my heart. I can feel you in my head, in my chest and in my soul. -me_

* * *

Kanda looked at the white haired teen. The person was blue, his lips were blue, fingertips purple and bloody. Clothes were torn in multiple places. Her was tangled and parts of the teen were just plain bloody. He nearly gagged at the sight of the teen before him. He could see muscle at where the skin had been torn at. He carefully, picked up the able alive teen. He walked to the dry land and placed him in the dirt.

Kanda slowly took off the clothes from Allen, he knew that he needed to get him out of the clothes. Taking off the shoes and socks he chucked them away from his person. He then unbutton his pants and did his best to take off the clumpy pants. It was difficult since the soaked and sticking to the non-colored skin. He finally pulled them off with the help of tearing them. He was glad that it was a thin like material.

He went to the shirt and tore that off, he noticed that the teen had another shirt on, it was a lot looser than his vest and crisp thin shirt. He ripped off that piece of clothing in half, what he saw then was not what he would have expected, the Moyashi was/is wearing a brassiere (bra). Shaking himself from the thoughts, he concentrated on saving the bean. Undoing the brassiere he threw it across from him. He looked over the female before him, he gritted his teeth at the dark nasty bruises that linger on the soft flesh.

Kanda took off his coat and lifted Allen into his arms, he stood up and wrapped the female in the warmth of the black uniform. He picked up the endangered white beauty and tightened the coat around her form. He looked around him and noticed the shredded clothing around him. He crinkled his nose at them and walked off, he could hear the voice of his comrades. Rolling his eyes in annoyance. He walked towards them, he took in a breath; a deep one at that, than after a few seconds released it. "You're still a kluz as always Moyashi." He whispered to her. He looked ahead, he caught glimpse of the redhead male. "Oi, Baka Usagi!"

Lavi turned his head towards the sound of his voice, he saw Kanda and the white haired creature in his arms. His visible emerald eye shinned. "Moyashi..." He whispered, he ran/fell over towards them, his eyes looking pained and unreadable with emotions.

Kanda grunted. "Yes, yes it is the fucking bean." He said and looked at the female. He shifted the women in his arms so that she could be more comfortable. He could feel her body shaking, he was glad her body was warming itself up.

Lavi looked over Allen and sighed. "We need to get him home." He said softly, his tone was now that of happiness and relief. Lavi turned his body around and headed forward. Going towards the boat. Kanda looked at the sleeping teen in his arms. He frowned and looked away, moving forward.

Kanda was confused, all he wanted to know was why and how his sword brought him to the Moyashi and what became of it. 'What is going on?' He asked himself, he stepped into the water and handed Lavi the wrapped female. Climbing into the boat he sat down behind the red head and the dark haired took the white haired girl back into his arm, with a fuss from Lavi of course.

* * *

~ Kanda

Looking at the Moyashi, I wondered a few things. One was, why did h-I mean she hide the fact that he or she was a women? I mean really, I might have treated her a little nicer...I doubt that, he...well she pissed me off. All fake smiles and shit, fucking hero complex. Well I guess I can now saw that is just in her nature not to kill. After all she is a women, they are the life bringers, not the takers unlike us men.

Pressing my lips to her forehead, I checked her temperature. She was burning, up (1). I knew it was bad, from the case that I saw her in I knew that her fever was a death grip.

Looking at Toma, our helper/finder, I grunted to get his attention. "I need you to get going faster, Moyashi's temperature is high." I explained. I may be cold hearted to some, but I do not want unneeded death. Not this crazy women either.

After this I do not know how I am going to see her. I cannot look at her the same way, I did see her naked and she is a women. A women...it is hard to believe after how she has acted since we have met. Her actions made her out to be a man, not a women. She didn't even PMS...well at least that's what Lavi calls it when Lenalee gets really upset during a period of time.

Sighing, I looked ahead, only to see that we were already inside the Dark Order. I steadied myself for when we docked, so that I could get her to the infirmary.

XxXxXxX

Not long ago I had Moyashi place inside the infirmary, I was kicked out by the head nurse. Damn broad. I had left my jacket in the care of the short stack.******  
**Walking to my room, I got myself ready for bed, peeling off my clothes, I head to my private bathroom.

Getting under the head I let the water wash over me. Closing my eye, I let my mind wonder.

'How did Moyashi last that long, any human would have died.'

'Moyashi is a girl...she should have been at home where is was safe.'

'No women should be in a war, never in a war...they are the house protectors and the child bearers.'

Sighing, I opened my eyes, reaching out I grabbed the soap. It was Green Tea, I loved the calming scent. Pouring myself a good amount, I worked through my long blue hair. I started at the tips of my hair and worked my way up. I did not want to get those fucking split ends.

Washing my hair of the soap and I washed my body with the shampoo as well. Getting out after washing myself.  
Wrapping a towel around my hair and waist I walk into my room and dried off. Getting into some cleaner clothes. I sat on my bed and swiftly dry my hair.

Leaning against the back of the wall, I close my eyes. "Just what is going on?" I ask aloud. Looking over at the hour glass on the desk. I watched it grow. The petal that have fallen were only four. Only four have fallen since I have had this fucking curse.  
How many more will fall before it all ends?

* * *

~ Allen

I heard the voice, some deep, soft, and warm. I felt so cold and harsh pain. It was almost numbing. I felt warmth, but it did not last long. I tried to open my eyes, but the darkness pulled me back, telling me to sleep and to rest. I felt the cold leave my body only moments later, I felt the earth beneath me. Then the warmth came back, a scent filling my body. It was comforting. So very much so. I could not place it, but it was familiar, musky and sweet, with a hint of spice. It was male...but who...

The warmth did not last long, I was pulled away from it. I wanted to cry out and be held by that warmth once again.

After just a few moments, I felt that familiar warmth, wrapping around my body, protecting him from the cold. I could hear the protest and a sharp tongue.

Feeling the silk of a petaled rose on my skin was relaxing, I went deeper into the darkness.  
soon enough I felt safe and warm.

But it soon left me, I was scared and cold, the pain returned. I wanted it back, please come back.

* * *

~Kanda

I felt the pulsing within me, it was late in the night that I felt it. Pushing myself up, I stumble out of bed, the blankets clung to me. Going towards the door, I left the blankets on the ground. I walked towards where the pull took me. I knew I looked like a mess, my hair slightly knotted. My clothes felt odd on my skin.

I opened a door, my brain must have not been functioning all too well, because I was in the infirmary. Rubbing my eyes, I walked to the bed. Looking at the white haired creature, I yawned. Sitting on the bed, I laid down. Getting under the covers I wrapped my arms around the female. At this point I did not give a fuck that it was Allen and that I was so out of my normal character, but all I wanted was sleep, and I was desperate at this moment.

The pulsing in my skull and was replaced with a soothing sensation. Curling around her, I fell back into a peaceful sleep. One that I have not had since the Moyashi had disappeared.

* * *

~Allen

I can feel the warmth, it is back. It was nice, I felt safe again, so very safe. No longer cold. I hope I wake up soon, I want to see what it is. I know it is a person, but who it is I want to know. I want to thank him.

Falling into the pit of warmth, the insects surround me, circling me. Looking at them, closely. I see them, they looked to be protecting me. Twisting and turning going around my form. I liked it, they seemed so protective of me. Whoever it is I wonder if they are the same way.

Closing my eyes, I let myself drift off into sleep. It was just dark and I liked it. Nothing to think about and nothing to worry about. It was simply dark and dreamless. Maybe it was because I was already in a dream. A dream within a dream.

XxXxXxX

Feeling something on the back of my neck, it was moist yet warm. Opening my eyes, I twisted myself, at least I tried too. Hearing a grunt of displeasure, the arms that I did not notice before tightened on me.

Suddenly it hits me, this was the person that was the warmth. Slowly, so very slowly, I turned myself to face the man. Who I saw amazed me. It was Kanda. It was the warmth, he was the scent I could smelled while I was away.

Looking at his features, he looked peaceful. So elegant and well beautiful. "Kanda..." I whispered softly. Brushing the stray hair from his face, I place it behind his ear. I stroke his jaw with my fingers, making sure it was feature like. I did not want to wake him. After all, this is the closest I have ever been. He was beautiful, I always thought so. Ever since we first met, when he attacked me. I found him so graceful, so very powerful. He reminds me of a panther.

Pulling my fingers away from him, I curled up against his chest. I place my hands against his chest, making myself comfortable. I closed my eyes once again and relaxed.

* * *

~Kanda

I had woken up to movement in my arms, opening my eyes I saw that the Moyashi was awake. Tightening my arms around her, making her thing that I was still asleep. I also let out a grunt of displeasure, I was quite comfortable.

I felt curious as to see what she would do. After all, it is not everyday you wake up next to your rival. I know for a fact all this is happening way too fast, but for me and maybe her. It seems normal, when I had my arms around her before I felt so weird...I felt no pressure on my body. Like everything that was on my mind and shoulders. It was gone. I loved that feeling. But it was also so very confusing, I could not understand. I watched as Moyashi slowly turned towards me.

Closing my eyes, I pretend that I am asleep. "Kanda..." I hear her whisper my name. It sounded soft coming from her. I could now hear how female she sounded, if that makes any since.

I felt her fingertips along my skin, pushing a few strains of my hair behind me me. I felt her fingertips along my jaw and stop at my chin.

After a moment of being still, I felt her hands on my chest and she curled into me.  
Falling back to sleep?

Opening my eyes I looked down at her. She had her eyes closed once again and she had a small smile on her face.

I pull her closer to my chest, the heat returned full force to my body. "Moyashi..." I whispered to her.

She lifts her head, her eyes wide. "K-kanda?" She stuttered.

Smirking down at her. I could feel her shiver. 'Welcome home Moyashi.' I thought.


	4. Chapter 4

5": I am just updating like a two bunnies, I am going to have to slow down, but I doubt it for I have other stories I want to work on and I really want to finish this one as soon as possible. Call me out on anything that can be fixed.

Thanks for all the reviews and Yullen22490, if you find the insects of hell can you take a picture I would really like to see, because I find them to be down right adorable and I have been trying to find them every where \(T^T)/

I don't own -man. If I did I would have continued with anime! Just to hear what chibi Kanda and Lavi sound like!

* * *

**Chapter Three**

**What is going on, and who are you really?**

* * *

_Pull me closer, dream of my way. Hold me together for I am what you weld, I am your protector and you are my master. -me_

* * *

Allen stared at Kanda, her eyes wide. The silver orbs showed how unsure she was. She was comfortable in his warmth and like the idea of staying in them. But this was Kanda. Should she pull away, but if she did she would fall off the bed. So her mind froze and rebooted itself. Once it did she looked at him fully. "Umm, well...good morning Kanda." She said, her tone was shy and unsure.

Kanda just looked at her with a raise eyebrow. He looked amused, his smirk dropped a little. He pulled her closer to his chest. He could feel her bust against his chest. He watched as she squirmed against his hole.

"Kanda what are you doing!" She asked in a panic. She tried to pull away, but she was way too weak. She winced and laid down against the bed. She was panting heavily.

"You need to relax, your body is not healed, you just got here about nine years ago." He explained, his tone was harsh and cool.

The Moyashi looked at him with narrowed eyes. "Says the one with the stick up his ass." She mumbled.

Kanda hummed and nodded. He did not reply, he was too emotionally tired to. He gripped her left hand and knotted his fingers with hers. He wanted to touch every single part of her. He slowly pulled away and covered her up. He nearly saw everything from the stomach up. He looked at her and scuffed. He ran his fingers through his hair and brushed them down. He liked the fact that the green tea shampoo got out most tangles.  
Standing up he looked at her. "I'll be back, I am going to get you something to eat. I know you are hungry." He said and smirked as she started to blush deeply.

Walking out of the room, he was still wearing his pajamas. Going to his room, he changed into his normal uniform, just without the jacket. He frowned, he had forgotten it with Moyashi. Shrugging his shoulders his mind went to work on more important things, like why Mugen was gone and why Moyashi was radiating with power unlike before. He could feel it on her skin, it tingled.

He was slowly understand what was going on, adding up the dots bit by bit. It was making sense but no sense at all. Pulling from his thought. He felt an arm wrap around his shoulders. Tensing he looked over, he knew who it was. "Don't fucking touch me!" He snapped and ripped off Lavi's arm. He hated the man touching him. It felt so wrong on so many levels. To Kanda, he felt that the man was trying to undress him, searching for all his little secrets.

Lavi pouted. "But Yu-chan~" He whined. He then noticed that Kanda was out of uniform. "What happened to your jacket?" He asked and tugged on Kanda's shirt.

Kanda slapped his hand away and growled. "I said don't touch me you fucking bastard." He hissed darkly. He pushed the redhead away, his foot step quick and harshly. Most of the finders moved out of his way.

Going to the cafeteria, he slammed the doors open and headed towards Jerry, he ignored the looks the people gave him as he walked in.

Jerry looked at the male. "What can I do for you dear?" He asked in utmost cheerful tone, he had heard about Allen being back home.

"The usual for me, but I am going to need a lot of food for Allen, so I guess you know what he likes." He said. Kanda's tone was rather bored and slightly irritated.

Jerry cheered happily began to cook all sorts of food for Allen.

* * *

~Allen

I watched as Kanda fix his long hair and walk out, I heard him say something but I was not sure as to what. I heared food and that was it.

With the slamming of the door. I looked up to see that I saw alone in the room, I sighed and laid down back onto the bed. It was painful to move. But not like before, I could feel my body healing itself. I look down at my body from under the blanket. I saw that the bruises were fading rather quickly and that the blood on the bandages were still there. But other than that nothing was changing. At least that is what I am thinking.

I sat up, I look at my breast, I gently grope them, I wanted to make sure that I could feel them. I loved my breast, they were not small or too big. But I wondered as to why they did not bandages them as well, everything else from stomach to shoulder was wrapped, but my chest was left bare.

Pulling the blanket to my chest, I wrap it around me, making sure that it did not fall off I tucked it in.

Soon, the door opened up and Kanda walked in, he was pulling a cart with him filled with food and such. He pushed it towards me with a gentle tap of his foot.

I grabbed the cart before it tipped over, lightly glaring at Kanda who walked over towards the other bed beside mine. He lifted his soba from the cart and started eating quietly.

I started eating as well, I was finished way before Kanda. I had practically inhaled the food like it was air.

Cleaning my face with a napkin. I looked at the male and smiled. "Thank you Kanda." I said and pushed the tray away from the bed and by the door with a soft thunk against the wall near the door.

Kanda lifted his head and stared at her for a moment, he then went back to eating his soba. Silence filled the room.

At these moments I wished Lavi was here so that the silence would be filled with something rather than this silence between Kanda and I.

I stood up from the bed and walked towards the restroom, dropping the blanket outside the door, stepping inside I walked over towards the mirror and started to take off the bandages. Once they were off I saw that the bruising was gone. All of them, not a mark on my body. Frowning, I wondered if it had to do with Kanda.

* * *

~Kanda

I watched as she left towards she bathroom, dropping the blanket behind her as she walking into it. I sighed and out my plate aside, I was curious as now what she was thinking.

Rubbing my face, I leaned forward and covered my eyes with the palm of my hand. Going back to where she first went missing, it was utter hell, that is when I realized that I cared for the Moyashi, I simply thought it was brotherly affection. Then it formed into something more. Something that would have never wanted. I was in love with Allen.

That was I fought with him well her all the time, I wanted her attention on me and no one else. I hated the affection she gave away so easily. I found it odd and well I was selfish, I wanted it to myself, I wanted the hugs. I wanted that smile, and I wanted those eyes only and always pointed at me.

I wanted all of her. Was that too selfish?

If I gave my heart to her, will if be fine that she gave me everything else?

Hearing the door open, I looked over towards the bathroom. I looked over her body, she was meant to have children. Her hips were wide enough, her breast were big enough. She was strong, mental, physical, and emotionally. She was a perfect women for me. A good child bearer.

Maybe it would be best to win her over? Yes, that would do...but how...no...god no...I am not...but...I guess if need be, I would have to be the one she has been waiting for.

But before anything. "Moyashi." I called out to her to get her attention.

She looked at me with a frown "It is Allen, and what do you want?" She asked as she sat down on the bed, she was now wearing my coat once again. It was the only clothing she had at the moment. It made her look so small and well cute.

"Why is it that...well did you try hiding the fact that you were a women?"

Watching Allen's expression, it changed a few times, from embarrassment, confusion to thoughtful. "No; I never tried hiding it at all, half the Order already knew that I was a women, those who do not know, are Lenalee, some finders, Miranda, Krory, and the Noha." She explained. So most do now of her being a girl. "Besides them everyone else knows that I am female, and if you listen, they say she and not he or her and not he."

So Toma is the only finder that knows that Allen is a women, all the other finders think that Allen is a man. Lenalee thinks Allen is a man, Krory thinks that Allen is a man as well as Miranda and the Noha's.

Lady Luck was on my side, I looked over at her. She was going to be an easy win, well not that easy. But no one will be aiming for her as a mate. Lavi is was a lover of all women.

And well I don't have to explained the others.

From here on out things are going to get interesting. But I know that I will have to understand the situation fully, things are still unanswered, like Mugen is gone. And it lead me to Allen, and is she somehow connect to Mugen?

I need to know, before I make her the mother of my children.


	5. Chapter 5

5":Well hello there mortals I am back with a new chapter and _**Yullen22490**_ has beta it. So _**please thank her for the hard work!**_:3

* * *

**Chapter Four**

**What am I?**

* * *

_Let the petal fall and whisper my name. -Me_

* * *

~Allen

I looked over at the dark haired male who was now just staring at me, and he looked to be in deep thought. But I have wondered what he meant by nine years ago. Maybe I heard him wrong and he meant to say hours or days.

"Kanda." I called out to him softly, waving my hand to gain his attention. He turned his head towards me, his eyebrow raised. I was confused as to why he was being so nice to me since it was rather odd for his character. After all, he is supposed to be the cold character of the group.  
"What did you mean by nine years ago?" I asked him, just wanting to be sure about it.

Kanda moved a little, his face twisted into a frown of confusion. "What?" He asked, his eyes narrowed.

"Well this morning you said 'you just got here about nine years ago.' At least something along those lines." I explained, repeating his words, remembering them the best I could.

"I meant hours ago, I was thinking at that time and it mixed with that I was saying." He explained himself crisply as he crossed his legs on the bed, turned towards me.

Frowning at him, I asked, "Why are you here? I mean, in this room. And why are you being so...so nice?" I asked him.

He stared at me for the longest time, as he opened his mouth to speak; the door opened and in came a nurse, walking towards the two, standing in between them. She looked at Kanda. "Get out or turn around." She snapped at Kanda.

Kanda glared at her and turned around on the bed and 'tched' in an irritated tone.

The nurse looked at me and turned soft, sitting down on the bed. "Please take off the coat, I need to change your wrappings." She explained in a gentle tone.

I nodded and slowly pulled off the jacket, feeling a little exposed. I flinched at her cold touch; it wasn't warm like Kanda's. I watched as she cut the bandage with a scalpel*.

The bandages feel off my body and onto the bed. "Well this is quite odd, you are healed. Not a mark on you." She said softly and smiled at me. "You may leave tomorrow; I would like to keep you for one more night just to make sure everything is fine." She said. I could tell that she was curious with the fact that I had healed over one night, Hell, even I was curious.  
I pulled Kanda's coat back on, it was the only clothing I had at this moment and, well, It would be so damn awkward to walk around naked. I nodded to the nurse and pulled my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them.

I watched as she wrote a few things down on some paper, she looked back at me. "May I ask you a question?"

I nodded, lifting my head to look at her. "What is it?"

"Is that a tattoo on your stomach or a birthmark?"

Mark? What mark. I undid the coat once again and looked down at my stomach, than I saw the same mark on my stomach again.

"A lotus?" I snapped my head around to see Kanda looking straight at me, he eyes lingered on my stomach.

I blushed and crossed my arms over my chest. I didn't want him to see, but I wanted answers, so I had to throw my pride to the side for the moment.

"A lotus?"

"Yes; a lotus, it a flower." He said, his tone bored.

"No shit Sherlock." I said sarcastically as I buttoned up my coat and turned away from him. I looked around for the nurse only to find that she was no longer there. I felt arms wrap around my waist and I was pulled against Kanda chest.

I knew it was him, for he is the only person in the room beside myself. I felt a tingle of warmth spread throughout my body, it first pulled from my stomach and crawled around to where Kanda was touching me.

"Kanda..." I breathed out as I leaned back against him. It felt right. I felt his fingers touch my skin and rubbed the flesh. I closed my eyes in bliss. "Mugen, Activate." He whispered and kissed my skin.

I felt my eyes widened and the warmth turned into flames, growing inside my body. I gasped and arched against him, closing my eyes as I fell into blackness.

* * *

~Kanda

I looked down at the sword in my hand, I couldn't believe that I was correct. Well it did add up, every single bit.  
The silver light, the Hell insects, the sensations, the power, and the marking on her stomach shaped like a Lotus.

Stroking the hilt I felt it shiver in my hands. I picked up my coat from the floor and walked out, I slipped it on.

I needed to talk to Komui about this...this problem.

* * *

~Allen

I opened my eyes and looked around. I felt warmth wrap around my body, stroking me, it felt soothing. It was calming, so very calming that I shivered. "Kanda?" I called out, what is going on?

I was with Kanda the one moment, and the next I was back in here, in this dark abyss. Standing up, I walk forward, going towards the door that laid open. Stepping it, I looked around. It was beautiful, no real words could describe this scene.

It was a Japanese garden. Cherry petals were floating through the air; the pond looked like a lake so crystal clear. It was so beautiful here.

I loved it, looking around the area I saw the Hell Insects floating around the area. They went from flower to flower and towards the pond, dipping into the water.

Smiling at them, I sat in the soft and lush green grass. I watched them with pleasure and happiness. I love the creatures, they are so cute and loveable, at least to me. They reminded me of mutated kittens.

* * *

~Kanda

Walking down the hall with Mugen (Allen), I had her unsheathed. I did not know how it would affect her.

Slamming the doors open, I walked to Komui's desk and held the sword out in front of him.

"The Moyashi is my innocence." I stated.

Komui stared at me with wide eyes. "What are you talking about Kanda?"

"I am saying that the Moyashi is Mugen!" I snapped darkly. I did not like the idea of her being a weapon, my weapon. It seemed so wrong, maybe that was why I felt those sparks of warmth. She was my innocence, but how?

"It seems we have reached an impasse*." Komui said as he leaned over to try to take the blade from me. I growled and pulled away and held the Katana tightly in my grasp.

The older male looked at me. "Kanda we need to understand what is going on, but we need Allen and yourself." He explained, and by the looks of it he was quite serious.

I glared at the man before me, for I hardly trust the man. I sighed and rubbed my temple.

I should have kept it too myself, at least until I talked to the moyashi about it. I wanted her consent as well, but I was in a hurry to get answers as to why this was all happening.

* * *

Scalpel: A small knife like object used by doctors.

Impasse: A position or situation from which there is no escape; a dead end


	6. Chapter 6

5":I am really proud of this one! It is the best one I have done so far and the longest! And again please thank **Yullen22490 for beta-ing the story!** or I will update so slow to the point where it will stop completely!

* * *

**Chapter Five**

**Do you know?**

* * *

_I can see you in my dreams and in my soul. -Me_

* * *

Placing the sword inside the scanner, Komui watched from the other side of the room as he steadily took some notes. Looking over the screen he saw that the numbers were off the charts. Frowning, he moved his fingers along the screen and dissected them, analyzing the 'DNA' Properties it might have. He frowned at the information for it was rather complicated.

He picked out the old charts of kandas innocence before this incident and compared the two, realizing that they were so very different, the ones that had last month's information evened out to be about 97 percent synchronization.

He then looked at Allen's synchronization. Adding them all up, he found out that Allen's and Kanda's innocence's had somehow mixed together. But the question was how and why, and what made this all happen?

The scientists did a few minor tests on Kanda, getting his blood and testing out his synchronization level. Placing the Katana in his hands, they watched as he unleashed the innocence from within it.

What happened nearly destroyed the computers, the power was way too high for them to handle and it was still moving up.

It was uncontrollable. They watched the physical change, Kanda's left arm turned pitch black, the markings on his chest was a spiky circle went around his mark and spread to his shoulder. His hair became longer and pointed as his canines sharpened. His eyes turned to a wicked gold color.

He was a demon in human flesh, yet he moved with elegance. He turned his head to look at the men behind the glass, his coat floating off the ground a few inches.

Komui wrote this down and had the camera watch him from different angles. Pulling the microphone over towards him, he spoke. "Kanda I want you to use illusions one and move up the levels after each target is destroyed." He stated calmly as he pressed a few buttons.

Kanda hissed at Komui, growling in the process. He turned towards the targets and cocked his head to the side slightly, narrowing his eyes. An animalistic growl rippled throughout his throat and chest. Faster than a blink the dummies were destroyed. The first one was destroyed faster than before, which was expected.

Looking at the charts Komui scanned them and wrote down the numbers that appeared.

After this there was a number of test and evaluations, which had just taken moments to finish up. To Kanda they were far from satisfying. Scoffing he looked towards the men and women, snarling as a growl erupted from his chest. He wanted something more. Something powerful, something better than these pathetic dummies.

Komui took a hollowed out stick from his pocket and stuck a needle inside. He aimed at Kanda and blew at it, watching as Kanda went limp on the ground and the sword fell him his grasp. His body slowly turning back to it's original form. They watched as the sword transformed back to Allen, nude and curled up in a ball. She was out like a light, the only thing that covered her form was ripples or pockets of air.

Komui knew what they were; the pockets of air were the illusions protecting the female. He looked at Kanda who was awake and now staring at Allen, struggling to move closer to her. He watched them carefully, in his mind he was wishing, begging for the male to move. He needed to know what was going on between the two.

He watched as Kanda moved his head towards Allen, he twitched and growled in irritation. He inched towards Allen. Oh so slowly, he used what body strength he had left and moved towards the female on the floor, his hand was just centimeters away from Allen's.

Flexing his fingers he was able to wrap his fingers with hers.

Komui looked over at them carefully, writing down a few new notes. 'It seems that Kanda's and Allen's innocence's have blended together to form one, the reasons for this mixture was because Allen's was dying off slowly and needed to attach itself to a stronger host. And the closest and highest synchronization level was Kanda's.' He thought to himself as he watched Kanda drag himself towards the female. His movements were slow and weak, making progress of moving towards her. Once he was close enough he snaked his arm around the girl's thin waist, bringing her close and hiding her with his body.

'Allen's innocence called upon Kanda's because that was the first innocence that it came in contact with and nearly destroyed it, so it reacted on past events, turning into those once particles right before he reached the river bank, that is what the silver light was. Mugen was just reacting to the other innocence, saving it from diminishing. It seems we have a new chapter to discover on innocence, for things are getting more complicated.' He thought once more.

He looked at the other scientists who were waiting for him to finish up with his notes. Komui nodded to them. "Let's see how well they do apart from one another, but first we must let them rest, Kanda is in no shape to move, nor does he look ready to let go of Allen." He explained as he walked out of the room, he pace was swift and eager. He needed another refill on his coffee.

His thoughts wandered off towards the new innocence that has been formed between the two exorcists. All he needed to figure out was why all of this was happening, and he needed to find out as to what happened to Allen's innocence, he did see it on Kanda's arm. 'Maybe the only way he can activate his sword is though Allen's innocence...so would that mean that Kanda is Allen's innocence and Allen is Kanda's?' As he pondered on these theories, he felt as though he was just digging a hole for himself. None of this made any real sense to him. 'Soon I will need to send Allen and Kanda on a mission, I will send Lavi and a finder with them to keep track of what is happening between the two. I also want to see how Kanda and Allen will react to an Akuma a low level and a high level.'

Walking into his office he passed the piling papers on the floor and desk and grabbed a random book in the book case. Picking it up, he walked to his desk, pushing the papers onto the floor. He looked at the clear desk, sighing he opened the book and grabbed a pen. He placed down the notes and his thoughts on the matter that was happening between Kanda and Allen and what he thinks what will happen between the two.

Placing the book back in its rightful place he walked from the room, smiling he refilled his mug and looked about the room. He watched as the men moved back and forth. 'Maybe this will turn out for the best...but what will happen to Allen and Kanda in the end of this war, will they die off or will they live on as they always have been?'

Turning away from the science department he walked towards his room, he needed a nap, to refresh his mind for late tonight.

* * *

~Kanda

I looked over at Allen as she laid next to me on the bed. I could feel the amnestic leaving my body oh so slowly. Wrapping my arm around Allen I pulled her back towards my chest. Placing my face down on the crown of her head, I closed my eyes inhaling her scent. I felt warmth pool at my fingertips and arms, slowly filling and soothing my muscles, calming my raging mind.

Taking in her scent deeply was also relaxing; it felt natural to do these things to her. Normally I would never even think about doing such things, but I already knew that on the inside that I wanted this, I have always wanted to curl up inside her arms. I felt so very safe in them and so warm, no longer feeling cold.

Feeling her warm breath on my neck was rather soothing, it helped me realize that she was alive, here and no longer missing or dead.

Thinking back on those test that we both went through, I realized that they might just want to keep us in that horrifying state to win the war and kill off anyone or anything that dare threatens the Order. That was a thought I wished that occurred to me at an early time, before I went to Komui.

Sighing deeply I opened my eyes to look down at Allen who was now awake and looking up at me with tired eyes. "K-kanda?" She whispered out, her voice was ragged and sore sounding. I ran my fingers up her sides and then cupped her cheek, gently rubbing my finger against her cheek. "Hmmm?" I hummed softly.

"What happened?" She asked, gaining some control over herself. She leaned into my touch and curled up into my chest, I could feel the heat pour from her body onto my own skin.  
Slowly I began to explain to her the events that occurred throughout the day and into the late afternoon. I told her about the surge of power and how we have not gotten the results to the test. I looked at her waiting for something to happen, her yelling, glare, just anything. But looking at her, she looked scared and confused. "I don't understand, how am I Mugen, isn't Mugen your innocence?"

I nodded, "Well it was my innocence, but from what I saw and felt you are now my innocence and I am yours." I explained, "This is just what I think from what I saw and felt." I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer as I laid on my back, pulling her on top of my chest to let her lay there.

I watched as she laid on top of my chest, she spread out her legs and arms. Her legs tangled with mine and her arms were on my chest, curling around her face. Her head was on its side, letting her breath easily.

"I don't like where this is heading, something is bound to happen, we both know that the higher ups are going to use what they can to win in this war." She explained softly, I knew this. I could have stopped it before it could have happened, but I was too damn stubborn to even think about waiting it out for a couple more days. Allen had just gotten here last night and so much has happened already.

Placing my hands along her back, I slowly trailed them up to her head, playing with the hair on her head and moved my fingers to the scalp and back to the tips. I felt her relax against my body.  
"Why are you being so nice to me?" She asked, her tone was questioning and confused.

Looking at her, I stopped playing with her hair and dropped my hands to her lower back. "We have been through so much even in the last 24 hours… I have come to the conclusion that my feelings for you are deeper than what I thought. At first I thought that I hated you to the very core, and the reason why I thought that was because off all your fake smiles, your positive nature, and everything about you just sent me to an angry flame." I started off, I looked at her, I knew she knew this, but I wanted to explain it myself.

"Then those feelings grew more powerful. It came to friendship, companionship, to a brother sort of love, and after I found out I cared for you as a brother. I did everything I could to protect you to the point where I had to threaten your life to get you to a safe point, knowing that I would have to pull through with some of those threats." I took a breath before I continued. "I have always cared for you in some sort of way, yeah I may not have the best ways to show you how much I care, but I try, I have gotten use to the idea of being gentle with women, through Lenalee and Miranda." Looking up into her eyes, I saw some type of emotion flicker across them. "I was hard on you as a male because I wanted you to get stronger, but I wanted it to seem that I did not care. That way when I did die you would not feel any pain." I stroked your cheek, "I can be gentle with you now that I know that you are a female, it is most acceptable in public then it is you being a male."

"So you are saying that the reason you were nasty with me was because I was male and you could not show the affection of that of a brother towards me without being labeled as a gay couple of sorts?" She asked, shifting only a little to get more comfortable as she placed her arms under her chin and looked at me.

"Yes and no," sighing I take a breath. "the reason why I would not show you anything but utter contempt was because I thought you were a male at that time, and the way a man thinks is that we push and push the other that we care about so that they get stronger, and to have that someone they can go against to get better. I knew that you had no one to look forward to besides Cross, so I became that person who would test you to get strong while I kept you from getting close to me."

She nodded her head and looked down sighing softly. "So you care for me as a brother?"

"No, I don't. As I said before my feelings for you grew into something much more, so much more, that I could not hold back, and when you vanished for those days, I felt so dead inside. Nothing made sense anymore, I was hopelessly lost." I explained and placed my hand on her cheek and went to her chin, holding them in my forefingers. I sat up, pulling her up with me. I moved her legs so that she was straddling me as she sat on my lap. The blanket slid down behind us, only covering her legs.

I looked into her silver orbs, seeing that she was eager for me to finish. Smiling at her, I leaned down, barely an inch from her lips. "I fell in love with you; you have my heart and everything with it." I stated, brushing my lips against hers.

Pulling back I looked at her expression, she was flushing like a red rose. I lightly traced my thumb against her bottom lip. I looked into her eyes once again and saw that they were wide with shock. Slowly they blinked and she looked at me fully. She slowly smiled at me and she wrapped her arms around my neck, letting her pull me down. "You should finish what you started Bakanda."

Smiling at her, I pressed my lips onto her. She returned the kiss with much vigor as I. Relishing the kiss I pulled her closer and wrapped my arms around her waist, my hand traveled to her head pulling her closer to my mouth, I wanted a bit more.  
She gave it to me, opening her mouth she let me in, moaning softly as I explored her mouth. She gave a little lick of her own wanted to taste me. I encouraged her to come into my own moist cavern.

Pulling back to gain some air, I look at her and stroked her flushed cheeks. We were both panting from how intense the kiss had been on both sides.

"I love you as well Kanda, I have for some time, but the only way I could get you to response was to snap back. That was the only way I felt like I could gain your attention." she whispered. "I hated the fact that Lenalee was so close to you, and I wanted your attention on me and not some other girl." She whispered softly, looking shameful and embarrassed. "I feel bad for the way I acted, even though those are my true colors." She mumbled the last part as I raised a brow at her. "What do you mean true colors?"

She looked at me with surprise on her face and smiled mischievously. "You are just going to have to find out, now aren't you?" She practically purred, her lips pursed for a moment, making them look kissable.

I smirked at her and started to dance my fingers up and down her sides. I loved the reaction I got from her, she squeaked and goose bumps appeared along her skin, giggling at the feeling.

Taking her reaction as something good, I repeated the motion across her skin, bending down I whispered in her ear. "Sensitive aren't we?" I asked nipping at her ear.

All I received was a giggled and a small yelp from her.

This was getting interesting already; I was going to enjoy playing with her. Moving my head I kiss her cheek, pulling back I place my hands on her hips and smiled at her. I laid back down and stared up at the female above me.

She was straddling my waist as I looked over her body. Pulling her down against my chest, I pulled the blanket up. I did not want anyone else to see her like I do, she was only for me to see and my eyes alone.

"You will never have to worry about me looking at another woman the way I look at you." I whispered to her. She hummed softly, agreeing with me. "Same for you Bakanda." I heard her whisper against my chest. "You don't have to worry about me either."

A promised made between the two of us, hoping that it last until the end of our path.


	7. Chapter 7

5": Well here is Chapter six, I am sure you guys have been waiting to read some of this.

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-man in any way

Warning: this is the warning.

* * *

**Chapter Six**

**Be mine?**

* * *

_"I'm saying that I'm a moody, insecure, narrow-minded, jealous, borderline homicidal bitch, and I want you to promise me that you're okay with that, because it's who I am, and you're what I need."― Jeaniene Frost, Halfway to the Grave_

* * *

~Allen's Pov.~

Clinging to the wall, I could feel heat pool from outside. The only thing I could hear were the angry growls from beyond the hall, screams that belong to no man; Only animal. I knew who it was, oh how I knew. It was killing me inside to hear such scream fall from his lips. "Yu, please stop." I whispered out, pressing my back up against the white wall. I looked around the room; it was like one of those rooms in the hospital. It is all white, not a single color or shade. Just pure white. Everything was white. In front of me was a large window, a balcony sprouted out from it. It was like one of those French castles. I was just in a thin crisp summers dress, it barely touched my ankles. Walking towards the window's I open them, taking a step outside I walk towards the rail and looked forward. What I saw was amazing, for miles there was a field. It was nothing but flowers, beyond that was mountains, snow at the peaks. This place was a heaven, looking up towards the sky, I watched as the white fluffy clouds floated pass.

It has been days since I have been locked inside this room, days since I last was in Kanda's warmth. It seem like years too me, all I can do is hear those animal-like growls and screams. I never ventured outside the room, until now that is. I was too tired to leave my spot on the floor. Placing my hands on the railing, I pull myself up onto it and sat down with my legs dangling over the edge. "What a hellish place this is." I whispered softly. It was, to be far from the one you love only to hear him. Never to see him or touch him, it was painful, so hellish.

This place may look like a paradise, but without the other half of your soul it hurts. The world around me had gone quiet. Frowning, I looked back at the door. That was odd; usually I would be hearing the growls and cries of Kanda.

Pulling myself from the railing I walked over towards the room, standing there I watched as the door opened. Komui walked in with others. My eyes widened at what I saw. Chains. They were restraining Kanda with chains and spell-binders, making him immobile. Walking towards him, I brushed passed Komui towards the growling breast; he was not pleased in the least. They had a muzzle on him. Gently, I reached up and place my hand upon his cheek, stroking his soft skin. Looking into his eyes, I lifted myself to my tip toes and gently kissed his lips through the muzzle. Pulling away from the now silenced beast I looked at Komui who smiled at us. "We will take our leave, but be warned Kanda is not in his right mind, he is more animal than human at this point.  
"I know, that is why you need to release his binds then go quickly." I explained to the older man. "I don't know how long I can keep him distracted as you take off the chains." Turning back I looked at Kanda who was looking at me in return. I could feel the emotion in his eyes that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. Going to his muzzle, I was careful not to pull on his long locks as I undid the muzzle, placing it in the hands of Komui.

Sliding my hands to Kanda's cheek, I stopped right under his chin. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I lean up as he leans down, kissing him softly.  
I listened and kissed as the chains were removed from my lover. Slowly the door to the white room clicked shut. Pulling away from Kanda, I stepped back. "Yu." I whispered to him.

His head turned towards me, his face slightly shadowed by his long hair. Smiling at him, I walked from him, turning towards the small box in the corner. I reached into it and pulled out some black pants with a white crisp shirt. Standing up I turned around, only to nearly jump out of my skin. Yu had managed to walk right behind me without making a single noise. "Dammit Bakanda don't do that!" I snapped at him, I was not really irritated with him, I was just surprised.

I looked up at him, waiting for him to do something, but all he did was stare at me with a blank expression.

Before I truly realized what was happening, I was on the bed in the far corner, his body covering mine. "Yu..." I whispered out, looking into those midnight blue eyes. I placed my hands on his chest to push him off so I could sit up, only to hear him growl. Looking up at him, I blinked. "Yu?"

Pushing me onto my back, he ravishes my neck, slowly going up and down.

* * *

~normal Pov.~

Licking over the neck the demon lapped at it with enjoyment, loving the taste of her body. Slowly licking at her neck Yu looked at her flushed features. She looked so calm, hidden behind a mask of red.

Pulling away, the beast rips off her clothes, turning the once beautiful crisp dress into shreds of cloth. He looked down at her nearly nude form, running one of his sharp nails down between her chest and down her stomach, stopping at the lotus mark. He lightly scratched, drawing blood and listened to her whimper. He leaned forward, lapping up the delicate red candy, savoring the coppery taste. He licked his redden lips and looked at the female once more and noticed that her arm is covering her face.

Pulling her arm back, he nuzzling her neck and purred to her softly, merely sounding like a deep growl; but Allen knew that Yu was just 'apologizing'. She felt him pull back and left her to shiver as his body warmth left her small form, watching as he pulled off his own clothes, leaving them on the floor. At least he knew what was fully going to happen this night.

Relaxing against the bed she watched as he once again trailed his fingers down her body and stop at the underwear. She watched in horror as he cut the object with just his nails, feeling heat pull to her lower lips. She felt his fingers slid against her clit slowly and dangerously close to making her beg.  
She watched as he peeled the ripped cloth from her being, moaning softly as his nails barely touched her skin, leaving a feature like trail that sent her body into shivers and tingles.

Lowing himself he licked from her neck, going towards her breast. Lapping at the nipple he scrapped his sharp teeth against them, biting them and pulling them into his mouth as he played with the nipple with his wet muscle, watching his soon to be mate wither in pleasure beneath him. Pulling from the nipple he went lower towards her stomach and licked at the light lotus patch on her stomach. He watched and listened to the female giggle and moan his name. He was proud at the fact that only he causes her to be like this.

Going lower he looked down licking his lips he dived in, slowly licking and sucking at the lips in between her legs. He listened to the moans and cries, her sweet cries echoed throughout the room. He loved it; to him it was such a delicious reaction.

Wanting more he placed the tip of his tongue over the exposed clitous and licked harshly, causing the female to scream and nearly spaz out. Holding out the shaky legs he did it again and again, until she got the message that he was in charge and not her. Lapping up her fluids that spilled from her, he pushed away and licked his damp lips; a trail of her fluids followed him. Grinning at her showing a sharp toothy grin, he dived back in and cleaned her up.

Looking at the female, his mate, he watched as her eyes were looking down at him behind pleasure filled eyes. Yu kissed her lips softly and held her, his arms wrapped around her waist.  
Closing his blue eyes, he relaxes, she was responding well to him.

* * *

The man opened his eyes, to see Allen under him, her eyes closed and kissing him. She had his arms around her neck and shoulders, her fingers tangled in his hair. Pulling back he looked down at her. "Allen?" He whispered softly as he looked over her form to see the bruising he made and the scratch he had left on her mark.

Allen opened her pale gray eyes and looked into his own. "Yu." She whispered with a smile.  
Yu Kanda felt as though he had done something he shouldn't have done. He remembered everything he did to the female, looking down at her as she called his name, seeing her smiling face.

Allen cupped his cheek and stroked it softly with her thumb. "It's okay, please make me yours." She said as she pulled her hand back and placed it beside her head.

Keeping his eyes on her he nodded, placing himself at her entrance and he made sure that she was wet enough to enter. He pushed his fingers into her core, spreading out his fingers and making sure that she was stretched and ready for something much. He pressed his fingers against her walls, relaxing the muscle and tissue.  
Once she was deemed ready, he pulled his dripping hands from her entrance and took hold of himself. Looking at her he pushed inside.

For the next moments he watched as her face screwed up in pain. He will never know of the pain she was going through, but he could tell it was worse than being cut. Getting himself inside he paused and waited for his Moyashi to tell him she was ready.

Hoping to help with the pain, he kissed along the nape of her neck, slowly traveling to her wrist, nuzzling and kissing them softly. He kissed the blue vein and pulled back, pressing his chest to hers and slowly but surely started to thrust into her. He moved slowly for her sake as he knew it would be uncomfortable for it was her first time being with a man ever.

Hearing the female pant and moaned under him, he lifted himself from her and held onto the back of her knees and kneaded them as he bucked into her core. He knew the spots on the women from reading up on pressure points in the human body. He knew the weakness of both male and female, now using it to his advantage.

Minutes flowed by like it was nothing, closing his eyes he released his seeds into her. Following him she released her fluids as well.

Parting their bodies with a tender kiss, Yu removed himself from her core and down beside her, pulling the female to his chest as he panted. He looked down at his lover, his mate, his Moyashi. He smiled, not a smirk, but a rare loving smile.

Allen looked up to see that smile, her heart stopping at the breathtaking sight. To her it was so beautiful; he looked so mature and just gorgeous, and was so soft. Tears formed in her eyes as she reached out and touched his lips with her shaky fingers.

Yu knew that those tears were not of sadness but out of happiness and love. He could see it in her eyes. Gripping her fingers gently he kissed them, so tenderly that it was feather like.

"Aishiteru." He whispered against her fingers, looking into her eyes.

"I love you too." She whispered back.


	8. Chapter 8

5": Letting Yullen22490 take a break for this chapter for Beta I wanna see how many errors I have in this one. So feel free to point any out! And please thank Yullen22490 for all the work she has done for the last chapters! She isjust an awesome person! Thank you hon!

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-man in any way

* * *

**Chapter 7**

**What will you do now?**

* * *

_Trying is not the same as doing, promises are not the same as a swearing. Living is the same as dying, for you can do nothing but in the end you have to do one thing and that is die. -Me_

* * *

Staring down at the white haired beauty. I stroke her hair, feeling the silky strands run through my fingers. It amazed me that her hair as so soft. Placing a gentle kiss on the crown of her head. I sighed, taking in her scent. She smelled wonderful, so very soft, like Lavender and a hint of strawberry. I cannot believe it took me forever just to see that Allen was really a female. Thinking back on it I have realized that there were so many hints. Mostly during a certain time of the month and how Kumoi was perfectly fine with him being around Lenalee.

Laying my head back down on the pillow, I relax breath in deep and releasing. The bed was much more comfortable than the ones we have in our rooms. The one major thing I do not like about this room is that it is purely white, not a single shade or color. It reminds me of a testing facility.

It was only a few moments ago that we made love. What was even more odd was that she was not a virgin, and I did not like that one bit. But at least she was not in any pain while I took her. Staring down at her, I realized that she was not as innocent as she was made out to be, then again under her sweet layer was something that was rebellious and bitchy.

Allen opened her eyes to looked at her lover she smiled at the man that had her all wrapped up in his arms. She pulled herself up into a sitting position, straddling his waist. Looking at his face she smiled softly. "How are you feeling?" She asked and placed her hands on his chest, just wanting to feel his abs through her finger tips.

Kanda looked at her with his left eyebrow raise in confusion. "What do you mean, how I am feeling?" He question, his arms remained wrapped around her waist. His fingers played with her lower back, touching her skin with his fingernail.

"Like I asked, how are you feeling, you have been chained to a room for a while, growling and screaming have you not?" Her words were more of a statement than a question.

Kanda looked at her for a moment, processing her words. His mind was still in somewhat of a foggy haze "Yeah, I am fine. I don't have to worry about you anymore." He whispered and shifted himself on the pillow, he was starting to get a little uncomfortable. Moving his back he sighed as the pain left his back and was replaced with a soothing sensation.

Allen nodded and leaned over and stroked his soft cheek with the back of her hand and smiled blissfully as Kanda leaned into her touch and nuzzled her palm and kissed it gently. Kanda turned his eyes on the female and trace the scar that ran along her shoulder to her stomach. Her hair was spiky like when he first saw her when attacked her in fog. To be honest he liked it like that. He thought it suited her quite well. "Don't cut your hair, I like how it is." He said and fisted the spikes in the back and pulled a little, watching as his fingers slid right through the hair.

Allen shivered softly as some of her hair fell down her back tickling her skin. Goosebumps rose to her skin. Making Kanda chuckle lightly, he hand his fingers along her skin, making it worse on her part. She batted at his hands. "Please don't...that tickles..." She said and pulled his hands off, by grabbing his large hands.

Kanda smirks widely. "Sensitive now are we?" He purred out and gripped her fingers. He sat up and watched as Allen scooted back so that she would not fall over.

Her face went hot and a blush slowly came to her face. "No!" She said all too quickly, much to Kanda's liking and to her disdain.

Allen away, her head looked at a wall from the other side of the room, her blush traveling down. Smirking Kanda leaned forward and bit her neck and started to suck. Making Allen yelp and light swat at his head in surprise. "Your an ass." She grumbled as she felt his tongue ravish his neck and collarbone.

~Later that evening~

Komui walked into the room, to see Allen curled up in the bed, her body was wrapped around the silk sheets, hiding herself from anyone that wished to see her blossoming body. She was smiling lovingly down at the male who was sitting on the ground, leaning against the bed. Eyes closed his face looking blissful.

He could see why he was blissful, Allen was running her fingers through his hair and gently running her fingertips brushing against the scalp.

Smiling at the two, he raised his hand to his mouth and cleared his throat to gain their attention.

Komui watched as Allen stop and snap her head over towards him. Her eyes wide and she blushed heavily, pulling away from Kanda's head and pulling the blanket closer to her.

Hearing Kanda growl displeased that Allen was interrupted. Kanda glares at Komui with anger. "What the hell do you want?" He asks, hissing the words with hate and annoyance. Smiling Komui waves at them. "We have a few more test that you need to do before we let you both off fully." He said with a cheery tone, he takes a sip of his coffee.

Kanda sighs and looks at Allen who is looking rather blushy and tired. "We will be with you in a moment." Kanda said, he did not turn towards him. His eyes were trained on his Moyashi who was now looking at Kanda.

Komui nodded. "Alright, just knock on the door when you are ready." He said and walked out, closing the door behind him.

* * *

~ Allen

Looking down at Kanda, as he stared at me, unblinking. "What?" I asked. "Is there something on my face?" I felt around touching it lightly.

Turning to him as he stands up and walks from the bed without a word. Going over towards the small box that has held clothes in it.

That is when I finally realize that he is wearing the outfit that I was getting for him earlier. He looked rather good in white. His pants were the only color in the room, pitch black, his shirt was a pure white and he had no shoes or socks on. He could be a model, and well I was glad that he was mine. I am one lucky women. Smiling at him as he walks back over towards me, he hands me a small dress and some underwear.

"Here, get dressed I don't want the others to see..." He said looking me up and down. Rolling my eyes I grabbed the clothes from him and pushed the blanket off of me. Placing both feet on the ground, I pull out the underwear and pulled them on. I then started to notice that my stomach, waist and breast were just covered in hickies and bite marks.

Looking a Kanda, who was just observing my body, I notice that his lips were pulled up at an angle...the bastard was smirking, and he...bastard!

Grabbing the dress I slid it on quickly, giving Kanda no satisfaction, which I know he does like seeing me dress. Knowing he would just tear them off later. I hope that it does not become a habit.

Walking towards the door, I felt Kanda grab me from behind and hold me to his chest. "Whatever happens, we still have one another." He whispers, his hands gripping my arms. Slowly he released me and walked passed me, knocking on the door.

Smiling in the slightest I walk after him. "Whatever you say BaKanda."

* * *

~XxXxXxX

* * *

It has been an hour since the testing had started, Kanda is not liking it one bit. He has to watch as I get probed it area's that I should not be touched in. He nearly ripped off one of the scientist arms, the man had be get undressed, which I refused to do. But they wanted to see the physical changes that my body went through.

I ended up having to get dressed, but I got to keep my underwear on. Kanda hand given me his shirt which I buttoned up to my bust. They ran scanners along my body, mostly my stomach and the mark. What was strange was that there was a light that connected Kanda and I. It was silver laced with a pink color. It was sting like, but it was knotted at my stomach where the lotus mark was, it was all knotted up looking quite nasty and painful. Looking at Kanda's it was flowing freely, wrapping around him loosely.

After the testing was over, I handed Kanda his shirt back and got into the dress. Looking at Komui nervously. He was looking at us with a blank face, and within a moment, it turned all creepy and stalkerish.

"Komui?" I asked, nearly hiding behind Kanda who was well Kanda, unaffected, but he was not in the happiest of moods.

"Since you too, are now together, as one, literally, your rooms will be connected and you will be going on all the missions together, your first one will be in a few days, so get use to one another, and practice as much as you can. God knows that you need it."

* * *

~XxXxXxX

* * *

Walking down the hall to our new rooms, that were on the other side of the order. Looking up at Kanda who was glaring in all his bitchy glory. Not that I don't mind. I liked the fact that he frowned the way he did. Well I loved him as he was, so I guess I love everything about him. Even if it does not piss me off most of the time.

I just hope that it cools down, now that we are together. Maybe I am getting my hopes up, but with Kanda you can never know. I mean ever since he found me two weeks ago. He has been acting so weird. I just wonder if he see's Alma or me. Am I just a replacement for Alma? I mean she is the only person that Kanda has ever loved truly, but here I am now...so am I?

I know that he explained to me, why he fought with me. But he gave me no true reason as to why he loved me. Am I just another Alma to him or am I something more?

I am afraid to ask him, because it might be true and nothing hurts more then the truth when it comes to loving someone. I have been in love with Kanda for a while now. At first I denied it like the pledge itself. But after some time, it just started to hurt. I would cry most of the time when I found out he was badly injured.

Looking at the doors that had both our names on it, I realized that it was 'Allen and Yu Kanda'. My last name was no longer there, only Kanda. So what is Komui playing at. I will have to talk to him about it later.

Opening the door, I walked in, and saw that it was a lot bigger than the normal rooms that we were accustomed to. The bed was a king size with plush pillows and that it was like those honeymoon resorts.

Sighing I walk over towards the drawers and opened them up to find all our clothes in order. Closing them I walk to the closet and opened that to see the gray coats, brown coat, the boots and shoes, as well as other clothes. Looking at the top I saw our travel bags and other boxes. Nodding my head, I looked around the room, and saw a couch in the far end, next to a bookcase and night table, then in front of a table was a oak coffee table. It was overall a little home, I liked it.

Looking at Kanda with a smile, I saw that he was at the door, leaning against the frame with a soft look. Not frowning, just watching me. "Whatchu' lookin' at Kanda?" I asked softly, walking towards him.

"You." He said, walking in and closing the door behind himself and locking it. He turned to me and sighed. "What was with that face, while we walked to our room. You looked like someone kicked your puppy." He said, sitting down at one edge of the bed.

Blinking at him. "Oh, it is nothing I saw just thinking all that has been going on is all." I explained. Well it was the truth was it not? I was thing thinking about all that has been going on, just noting going into detail.

"Oh really, because like I said you looked like someone kicked your puppy only in this case you looked confused and saddened by something." He explained, his tone unchaning.

Sighing, I looked at him. "You can really tell what I am thinking can't you?" I asked.

Kanda sat up straight and held out his arms. Walking towards them, I was pulled into his lap, cradled like a child in a fathers lap. But more it an interest type of way, his arms were wrapped around my waist while his chin rested on the crown of my head.

"No I cannot, but your eyes say a lot." He explained in a soft tone.

Biting my bottom lip, I pulled at the dried skin on it. "I don't really have anything to say, only that am I just a replacement for Alma or am I just another Alma to you?" I said, as I said thoughs things, I closed my eyes and tensed my body. But nothing came, slowly I opened my eyes and looked at Kanda who was staring at me with wide eyes.

"Why would you think such a thing...wait...nevermind..." He said, closing his eyes and after a few seconds he opened them.

"I love Alma, I will always love Alma, she was the first person I have ever loved and will always have a special place in my heart, but I love you so much, I may not have at first because you were nothing like anyone I have expected, you are not Alma, you are nothing like Alma. That much I can tell. Allen, I love you because you are so different from everyone I know, you may give theses face smiles and all that other shit, but what I see when I piss you off I see the real you. An impudent, rebellious, sassy mouth women." He said, I winced at those women, I knew they were true, I try so hard not to show them to anyone.

"You are also loudmouth, obnoxious, airheaded, naive, ill tempered, impatient, hardcord, and most soft hearted women I have ever met in my life, you are so beautiful, and carefree, as well as optimistic, and so very motherly...and those are the reasons why I love you, you are just so hot and cold, unlike Alma. You and Alma are so different from one another that it would be hard to put you two in a room together." He said truthfully.

Staring at him, I felt my heart in my chest just pounding harshly and my face warm from blushing. Looking at my hands that were in my lap. "Well that was not what I have expected from you..." I whispered to him fidgeting with my hands.

"Rather me tell you that I see you as Alma and have you cry and run away?"

"No, so thank you for telling me..." I said and looked at him with a gentle smile. "Yeah, just don't think those stupid thoughts they will get you nowhere."

Laughing lightly I pull away from him and sat in front of him. "What do you expect from me, it is me?" I said.

"This is also me." He whispered and leaned forward, pushing his lips against mine, slowly taking me into a world of heavenly bliss.


	9. Chapter 9

5": I'm back, did ya'll miss me? I got my computer fixed so it is as good as new! Sorry that this Chapter is so short. But I am working on it.

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-man in any way

* * *

**Chapter 8**

**Who am I to say?**

* * *

_Cold as ice, And more bitter than a december winter night. That's how I treated you. And I know that I; sometimes tend to lose my temper and I cross the line. Yeah that's the truth. I know it gets hard sometimes, but I could never Leave your side No matter what I say Cause if I wanted to go I would have gone by now, But I really need you near me to Keep my mind off the edge. If I wanted to leave I would have left by now. But you're the only one that knows me Better than I know myself ~Adam Lambert :Better than I know myself:_

* * *

Looking at the ceiling with a dazed expression. Silver eyes held a certain emotion that can be considered as bored, irritated, and or tired. It was a complex emotioned that was concealed within her molten hues.

Turning over she looked at Kanda who was laying beside her, a peaceful expression on his face. Smiling as hair fell down and into his face. She gently tucked it away behind his ear, marveling at his elfen features. She loved the long jaw, his pointed nose, thin pale lips, angled eyes, and high cheek bones that held up his face. He looked like a picture of a perfection. Stroking his soft cheek as she slept. She smiled when he frowned in his face and turned his head away from her touch and stilled going back to sleep.

Sitting up Allen crawled off the bed, going to the foot, and over Kanda's legs. Stepping onto the floor Allen pushed off the bed and headed to the a joined bathroom. She turned around and pulled out some clothes from the dresser and walked out from the room to the bathroom. Having a quick shower she got dressed and brushed her hair. She passed by the sleeping Kanda and hurried out. Closing the door behind her silently she walked towards the cafeteria.

She was hungry, she was extremely hungry. Padding down the hall in her gray uniform. She walked into the room, going to Jerry to order food. She ignored the stares that she got from the finders. 'It seems that Komui forgot to tell them that I was alive and back.' She mused to herself and headed to the table that had Lenalee and Lavi. Sitting down beside them she conversed with them like she normally did. They bombarded her with questions and sat closer to her.

_**'Bam!'**_

* * *

_**~Allens Pov~**_

I turned to looked at the doors, I knew who it was. Kanda and an angry one at that. I saw that glare on his face. He was sneering at anyone that got in his way. His hair was not even up, his feet bare, the only thing he was wearing was a shirt that was not button, and he was just wearing his black pants.

My eyes met with his and I froze as he walked after me, I did not move an inch, knowing that it would only get worse for the the both-well just me. He stopped in front of me and grabbed my arm and hoisted me out of the room like a sack of bride. I stared at him with wide eyes, blushing feverously. "You Baka! Put me down!" I spat embarrassed and attacked the male, kicking and squirming.

I was ignored, he kept his hold on me.

I was in for it once we got back to the room.

* * *

_**~Kanda's Pov~**_

Feeling the warmth of the bed, slowly decrease I look up and saw that I was alone in the bed. Sitting up in the bed, startled. I looked around, twisting my body. I went to the bathroom to see that it was slightly foggy.

Growling I picked up my clothes and put them on. I only grabbed what was necessary. Walking out of the room halfway dressed, I headed towards the cafeteria knowing that where she would be.

I barged into the cafeteria and saw my lover with Lenalee and the fucking Rabbit. He was too close for my liking. Locking myself with her, I saw that she was a little scared. Good, she better be. Walking over to her, I picked her up and headed out to the bedroom, ignoring the odd looks and the struggling she gave, which was pretty weak.

Going to the door, I kicked it open and walked it, kicking it closed. I dropped her on the bed. For an odd reason I felt like i had no control over my self.

Looking at Allen, I opened my mouth only to have a pillow thrown at my face.


End file.
